So you want to be part of our elite gang of underoos-wearing, dreadfully unstylish, strangely uncouth, and generally understandably inebriated* DJs and station slackers?  Supposing, for a minute, you could make it through our rigorous, but not unpleasant, hazing ritual, what would you have to do?  I’ll break it down into an easy, three step process:

• Send a subscription request to theoryradio-subscribe@googlegroups.com
• Send an introduction to theoryradio@googlegroups.com (once somebody approves your subscription), be on the list for a couple weeks to gain credibility and learn the way things are done, MOST IMPORTANTLY, READ AND LEARN THE DJ RULES AND PROTOCOLS BY HEART, and then hang with us (if geographically possible) during our show, tell everyone that they totally Rock and will can we please add you to the schedule at so-and-so time (in the future) and finally, buy the Theory Radio, Inc. Board of Directors enough scotch to keep them good and complacent.  And that’s it!  That’s all it takes to join the quasi-elite but mostly retarded and drunk ranks of DJs!  Two extra limbs and a half a brain is yours to cherish!

Wasn’t that just super easy?!

Hey, don’t blame me that you have the attention span of a ferret on meth.**

* You would be, too, if you had to live with us day in and day out.
** If in California, please substitute “ferret” with “little cute puppy.”